This Week - Day 5

I'm feeling super sorry for myself over last night's indulgences. The thing is, I don't even feel like I indulged to excess, but I look at the syns and I know I'm not going to get what I want on Wednesday and it's just... disappointing. To know that I have to be so strictly toeing the line in order to get to where I want to be, that any kind of deviation from the plan will be problematic.

I keep thinking 'it's okay, today plus monday and tuesday we can be back on it properly and that should make a difference by wednesday and weighing in' but somehow I don't think it'll be enough.

To get to my target by August, I need to consistently lose 2lb a week. The idea is that I'll be at my target in August then able to go wedding dress shopping in September, when I'm at a 'stable' weight and able to work at maintaining that through to December. I can't leave it too late to go wedding dress shopping, I don't know how long it will take to find one I like and I'll be ordering it online, it needs time to arrive and for any potential alterations. I need time for that. The latest I'd want to be ordering the dress is early October, so there's plenty of time for any issues to be resolved. But my target is set at a fairly arbitrary place, I've no idea what I'll look like at that weight - nor do I know what dress size I'll be at that weight, or what shape - so I've no clue whether I'll be happy there or if I'm going to want to keep slimming down to the size 6 of my other successful group members (one lady has lost 10 stone and is now the skinniest minnie I have ever seen, from a 24 (I think) to a 6) and I'm worried that even then, I won't be happy with how I look. What if I'm never happy with myself. That's so scary. Plus I read this amazing article yesterday from a woman who was formerly 300lb and had more than halved her bodyweight, about all the things she missed about being fat. What if I lose weight and still feel awkward, still have no sex drive because I can't bear him seeing my body, still have anxiety attacks about cameras coming out? That means all this effort will be for little reward, even if my back doesn't hurt so much any more and I like being able to feel my hip bones and the bottom of my ribs.






Breakfast: hexb cereal, strawberries, yogurt (0.5)

Lunch: bulgar wheat, mackeral, peppers, spinach, apple

Snack: strawberries and fat free yogurt

Dinner: BBQ pulled pork with pasta, sweet corn, peppers, spinach. 

This Week - Day 4

Breakfast: HExB cereal, yoghurt (0.5 syns) and banana
Lunch: jacket potato with beans and salad
Snack: strawberries and a lolly 2.5 syns, mugshot. 
Dinner: Steak, potato and salad with sauce (3) (at a restaurant). Then cocktails (20?) and a slice of birthday cake (15)...

41?

This week is going to be horrible at weigh in, isn't it?!

This Week - Day 3

Busy busy busy.

Breakfast: HExB cereal, banana, raspberries, mango and passion fruit yogurt - 0.5 syns

Lunch: broccoli and savoury rice, apple, 4 tsp frosting (10 syns)

Dinner: chicken breast pizza with spinach and chips 1.5 syns, HexA cheese. 

12 syns. 

This Week - Day 2

It's really boring to think about blogging my meals every day, and this is only the second day.

I've put a lot of pressure on myself to try and get a 'big' loss this week. I don't understand how some members of the group can be bringing in 4 - 7 lb losses every. single. week. It doesn't seem fair and I know full well how whiny that is, but I never get weight loss like that and I don't think I'm doing anything wrong.

Today I have had:
HExB cereal option for breakfast, with banana, raspberries and a yoghurt
Spinach salad with onion, bacon and an egg
Beef goulash filled with veg and cous cous
One cup cake (15 syns)
Spoon lickings when baking
A couple of sandwich quarters (turkey ham with a scrape of pickle)

So I'm going to call today 30 syns to be on the generous side, which when taken into account with yesterday is still fine.

Back To Basics

It's been forever since I wrote on my blog!

Lots of things happened in that time. I got my three stone award, got engaged, had a birthday (yesterday!), been going through a lot of stress, worried about my health, worries about my family, made big decisions... and that's just the stuff I can think of off the top of my head.

I'm not feeling confident about my Slimming World commitment at the moment. The week after I got my three stone award, it was my time of the month and also a horrifically stressful period with work and studies. Through that combined with packets of biscuits, pints of ice cream and other assorted comfort foods, I put 4.5lb on. Working hard the week after, I lost exactly that again. This week I worked equally hard and was way under on my syns until the evening of my birthday, where we went for carvery, and then got weighed to find I'd put two pounds on anyway. Not impressed.

I want to post my food diaries and thoughts here this week. I know I keep them on my phone anyway, but we'll see if being more 'public' changes anything.

So.
For breakfast, I had half a bowl of raspberries and jelly.
At lunch, I had a jacket potato with beans and loads of salad.
For dinner, I had SW carbonara (pasta, onion, bacon) and fresh spinach.
I've had two cups of tea and half a bottle of juice, plus a diet coke.

As far as I'm aware, that means today I have had ONE syn.

New Award

Today at SW I got my two stone award! YAY!

Awards

This week in group I got certificates:  Slimmer of the Week and my Club 10!

That means that I have lost 10% of my original body weight. I am amazed. If I do 2lb this week that's 2 stone gone!

Don't they look lovely lined up like that?!

I also did 4 miles at the gym yesterday, and 4.5 this morning, so there's that going on as well.. here's to a good week.

Pancakes!

YUM.

My SW consultant posted a recipe for pancakes on our Facebook group and I decided to make it. I've had a bit of a shocking week foodwise as I've been really emotional and angry at the world, but today we decided that instead of indulging in syn-heavy ways we would try out this recipe.

I am so glad we did. They were scrumptious!

Training So Far

Going from fat to fit in 11 months is no easy task!

I've been going to the gym recently and I like recording what I've done so I can look for progress later on.

So that was 15km on the bike and 2.5km on the treadmill on Thursday.

I did a 2.5mile walk on the Friday, then today (Monday) I did 1km on the treadmill and then 4km on the bike. (I was in a horrible mood today and didn't want to be at the gym. Haha.)


I also now have had my induction at the leisure centre so can go there whenever I like. Hopefully, I'll be fighting fit in no time ('no time' being, September 2014!!)

Comparisons

A week ago I was showing my other half these photos, and he started showing his friends too. I am so pleased he is proud of me - I am proud of me too.

The left hand photo was at my nephew's christening, late May. The right photo was at a friend's wedding, August 30th. There are 21 pounds of difference between the two. I hadn't really realised how I was changing until you see it side by side like that.

Happy happy!