Sadly my mental health did not improve between the previous post and now, but with some delicious medication and the support of my fantastic boy and a network of friends across the country, we're hopefully back on the right path. I don't have much confidence, I'll be honest, but we're making small steps in that direction. It's not something I want to get into too much again on here, though suffice to say the happy sunshiney blog post from October last year is now only half true (boyfriend is still amazing, the flat is still cute, and we've got a baby bunny now to look after as well).
A few things have changed. Once more, we're back on the Slimming World Wagon - though again, not in at the groups but on our own. The other big thing I'm doing is using My Fitness Pal - the app and website - to keep a diary of food and exercise. I'm happy to have more friends on there, too, if anyone wants to add me! My username is laila_kitt. I find it really useful to be able to chart what I'm eating - I know that if I tried to reflect at the end of the day I had a tendency to forget. Not consciously, or maliciously, but 'snacks' whilst out and about didn't register as 'eating' whereas now, it all goes into my smartphone straight away. There is also a very handy barcode scanner, which in my experience of the last few months hasn't missed much at all. The search option is also very broad, so homemade meals come up on there as well - I know that the chilli con carne I make, for example, might not be exactly the same number of calories as the one on the app but I'm fairly sure it's not going to be different enough for it to make that big a difference.
The other thing that's nice about that app is that it expects you to list exercise as well, which has been really helpful in making me really 'see' the connection between input and output. If I want that cake for 300cal, what can I do in return? I do more walking now than I previously have, though with my mental health that's not always easy, and I'm hoping once my interactive treatment starts next week I'll be brave enough to start jogging again. It's too nice weather to stay inside, even if that's what I desperately want to do. My tattoo is getting finished tomorrow (finally!) and I've got lots of dress making fabric to make things that really show it off. I've lost the desire to be 'thin' but just to be happy with myself, and right now my fitness level is a big concern to me. So hopefully we're taking steps to get into the right mindset and make some more changes, and hopefully my silly little brain doesn't interfere again.
Yesterday I had a really rough day and the hangover of that into today hasn't been great, so I decided that this little kitten deserved a fancy feast of a lunch to cheer me back up again. (Also, the idea of a Fancy Feast amused me greatly because of the branded cat food of the same name, and I am behaving more like a mischievous feline than ever at the moment!)
All free food on Slimming World, and somewhere in the region of 400 calories for the whole lot if on any other system. I've got a homemade stock and green vegetable risotto planned for this evening, and maybe even a square or two of luxury dark chocolate after that!
Here's to baby steps and getting back on track.
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